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Art of conflict management

We require management of people in our daily lives. Everyone grows up with his own set of skills. And, usually the skills that he acquires are based on his preferences.

And, how are preferences formed? Well, it partly due to circumstances, environment, and somewhat due to the person’s astrological constitution too! Shocked to hear this? Don’t worry, I will not force you to believe this. People have the right to hold on to their own set of beliefs. Again, I have inherited this trait of believing in other peoples’ rights from my moon sign and nakshatra. 🙂

Even if you don’t believe in astrology, it will affect you. I am a learner of management as well as that of astrology. And, so, I study my cases from both of these perspectives.

Today, I am discussing one of the most important concepts of management, i.e. conflict management. All of us face the problem of conflict. Be it at the workplace or in relationships, conflict is a cause of distress. And, we always wish we could manage it better.

When you are dealing with a person or a situation of conflict, you have two choices. The first is to fight it out with your full capacity. And, the second is to evaluate whether the situation is worth the fight? I know, this can raise a debate. But, let me share my own experience so that you can understand it better.

I have to also confront situations which could lead to a possible conflict. It could be an argument initiated by a friend, colleague or an acquaintance. Or, at times, someone tries to insult me. Else there could be a serious difference in opinion. And, with certain people it is just an attempt to provoke me as they love conflicts!

In my opinion, the first principle of war should be the choice of battlefield. Not every person or situation is worth fighting for or against. So, you must choose your battles. This is good for conserving your time and energy for the real and important battles in life.

And anyway, it is always important to identify your real enemies. Are your friends who are arguing with you, your real enemies? As a matter of fact, even a person who is not actually a friend but tries to provoke you for conflict is often not matured enough to choose his battlefield. He could just be doing it for attention or due to compulsive habit. But, does that mean that they can provoke you? How about your own mental strength?

Avoidance is the best strategy here, not everyone is your enemy anyway! Or, I would rather say, avoidance is the first step in conflict management. If the person is sane enough he will stop there and will not continue the conflict. But, some are not! They are now giving you a battlefield.

And you feel you have already made enough tests to choose or not to choose this battlefield. Ego crops in at this stage and you are not able to ignore. At this stage evaluate why you are choosing this battle? Are you going to get anything from it other than ego satisfaction? Ego is never worth any battle. Sooner you understand that, better will be your life.

Believe me, it could be tough to follow, but the best strategy is to still ignore. And, the advantage is that the opponent starts believing that you are weak. His opinions do not matter, do they? But his false notions will compel him to make more mistakes. An opponent with even slightest sensibility will quit at this stage but there are few nasty ones who will keep provoking you. Now it is your battle. The choice is made. Fight it out with full courage, confidence, and faith!

The second principle of concentration of forces applies here. This is one of the reasons why you should not jump into all the battlefields.

And, there is one reason, or rather the most important one of not jumping into all battles. It is called empathy. Not all are your enemies. Some of them unnecessarily vent out their anger or frustrations on you. This is because they are not good at choosing their battlefield. But, that doesn’t mean you fight them out!

I always evaluate if the person at all had any positive role in my life at any point in time. If he did, I can choose not to fight against him 100 times. Most people are fighting their own battles, with themselves, their pain, their circumstances, and their environments. I never choose their battlefield if at all I can stop their triggers against me just by ignoring them. For a peaceful life, I quit whatever battles I possibly can. And, I focus my energies on the ones which I cannot quit!

Let me come back to Vedic astrology. Like everyone else, I have acquired the traits from my moon sign.

In Hindu mythology, nakshatra Swati is associated with the Goddess Saraswati, hence the name. Saraswati is the Goddess of talent, learning, education, and communication. Swati nakshatra is that part of Tula Rashi which is responsible for traits like the ability of balanced communication, balance in thoughts, justice and best of all, empathy!

The downside is that the softness in my behavior leads to my enemies initially assuming that I am weak. Avoidance or ignorance is not a weakness. And, not fighting every possible battle is a sign of strength. I admit, it requires a lot of courage to fight out the provocation to fight! But, it makes you stronger.

If your sign is not the same, that doesn’t mean you cannot choose your battles. Intention and efforts can do wonders; even astrology claims so!

I am expressing my own opinions which are based on my learnings as well as the cases that I have studied. You would be having your own opinions and experiences on this topic. Do share it here!

Post Author: writercafe

A web developer, HR, and a Technical Content Writer! Well, the owner of writercafe has been all of these. I love blogging, and so here I am! I write SEO friendly web content, blogging, guest posts, social media content, etc.

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